Saturday, March 27, 2010

And I'm back...Again... we go again. Attempt #4 is it?

I've got meat and it's ready to cook. I know that sounds odd, but if I don't have meat in this house, I will fail miserably when it comes to eating yeast-free. If I can't have dessert, I MUST have meat!!!

Tomorrow is the BIG day to start again. Discipline is by far one of the hardest things, in any area of my life. With kids, with food, with work. If you don't have discipline, you will fail. Especially when, like me, you CHOOSE to cheat and let it get out of control-you need discipline to rein you in and help you set boundaries. I have been fortunate this time that the severity of the edginess hasn't accompanied the yeast-filled indulgences. Last week I was just extremely fatigued all week, which was difficult enough! But I'll take falling asleep at my desk (yes this did really happen) to yelling at my kids any day.

I'm dreading this. I know that it will be good. It will actually be great. I know because I've experienced a short time in my life without yeast. And I NEED to get back to it. I HAVE TO. And I have decided to be extremely strict with myself to rid myself of all the bad chemicals and other junk I have put into my body. And if I don't have something Candida-friendly, then I just won't eat.

I hate this! But like exercise, I know I will feel really good once I start! That's it...there it is. Vacation is over and I am done cheating. I can only hope that it lasts longer this time than it has the last 2 times I've fallen off the proverbial wagon. I really wish it could be as easy as it was for me the first six weeks. I suppose those first blissful weeks of shedding pounds easily won't happen again. I'm going to have to actually work extremely hard to stay on track, eat right, and keep losing the weight.

In the words of the Little Engine that Could "I think I can, I think I can..."

Or, in the words of the father whose son was healed in Mark 9:24, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" I love this verse. You can believe something is true, but still have doubts; I believe that I can get back to living yeast-free; I just need God to increase my faith and confidence in Him, because if left to myself, I will continue to doubt and I will fail. It is only by His strength that I can do this. I know I haven't been very vocal on this particular blog about my beliefs, primarily because the purpose of this was to journal through this yeast-free journey. But sometimes I forget that I can't do this alone. Any successes I have had thus far have been only by the grace of a very real and loving God. And I need to acknowledge that.

Phillipians 4:13 says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." They teach this verse to my kids in P.E. at school. It was the cutest thing I have seen in a while and it encourages me to press on...

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